Standing at the Edge of the Earth
by Trini08
Summary: a song fic based on Blessid Union of Souls' song Standing at the Edge of the Earth. Dean lets Sam go.


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Just something i thought up on the spot. I've been listening to this song for a few days and thought that it fit perfectly with the brothers. Kinda angsty and Dean is slightly ooc at the end there. My take on what could happen between the boys. No spoilers exactly, but definately set during season 4, probably sometime after Sex and Violence. Hope you like it.

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Dean stood and watched as Sam packed his bags. He knew deep in his gut that this was wrong, that he was doing the wrong thing letting Sam go, but none of that mattered. Sam wouldn't trust him with the knowledge of what he was really doing with Ruby, and Dean couldn't force Sam to tell him. Sam was lying to him every minute they were together and Dean couldn't take it any more. So this was the second best option. Let Sam go, let him go out there by himself and hope that he stayed safe. Not being with Sam was a better option than knowing that he was being lied to every day.

_I knew that this moment would come in time  
That I'd have to let go and watch you fly  
I know you're coming back so why am I dying inside_

Dean only hoped that Sam would come to his senses and come back after a while. He hoped Sam would see what he was doing, see that it was wrong and then come home. Not that they had an actual home or anything, but Dean had always thought they could find a home in each other. He watched as Sam placed the last shirt into his duffel bag and zipped it up. Sam's hands stilled over the bag and somewhere in the back of Dean's mind he hoped this was Sam having second thoughts. His younger brother slowly looked up from his bag at him, his eyes filled with the emotions Dean only wished he could speak aloud. Sam said nothing and the two simply stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.  
_  
Are you searching for words that you can't find  
Trying to hide your emotions, eyes don't lie  
Guess there's no easy way to say goodbye  
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth  
Hoping that someday you'll come back again  
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth hoping for someday, someday_

A horn honked outside the room and Sam glanced over his shoulder at the door. Dean could have sworn he'd seen Sam jump slightly.

"I … I guess I should go." Sam said softly, not meeting his brother's eyes as he reached for the bag on the bed before him. Dean hoped it wasn't his imagination when he saw Sam's hand shake.

"Yeah." Dean said, never once taking his eyes off his little brother. The child he'd practically raised by himself. Dean willed Sam to look him directly in the eye for the first time since he'd been saved from hell. Wished that if Sam could only do that he would see what the secrets were doing to him and that he would change his mind. But Sam never did, never looked up. Dean wanted to tell him he was a coward for not being able to look him in the eye, wanted to yell at him. But Dean was through yelling, he didn't have the energy any more, not when it came to Sam.  
_  
Don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say  
I don't want to let you leave this way  
I want you to know that I'll stand right by your side _

Even though Sam never lifted his head to look at him, Dean could still see the tears flowing down his face. He knew the same tears were running down his own despite all efforts he made to stay strong. Dean told himself that the fact that Sam was crying at all at this moment meant there was still something left of the Sam he'd known and grown up with. There was still something that could be saved, if he only put in a little more effort. Dean suddenly felt like he was in one of those old cartoons, where the person who was about to do something bad had a little cartoon angel on one shoulder telling him not to and a cartoon devil telling him to go for it.

Right now, the angel would be telling him that there was still some of the Sammy he knew there, and that Dean could save him if he stopped him from leaving with her. The devil, on the other hand, was telling him that the Sam he knew was gone and that the tears could simply be chalked up to the fact that demons lie.  
_  
And I know this may be  
The very last time that we see each other cry  
But whatever happens know that I,  
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth  
Hoping that one day you'll come back again  
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth hoping that someday  
You'll come back to me _

"I'll call you sometime, ok?" Sam said, grabbing his bag and turning for the door.

Dean wanted to yell for him not to go, beg him to stay. But all Dean could muster was a simple "Yeah, ok." as he watched his brother walk out of his life, for what could be for good. Dean managed to stay strong through hearing the door to the motel room open and close and then a car door do the same outside. It was only when he heard the car start and drive off that he lost all his strength.

Dean collapsed to the ground beside his bed, tears flowing freely down his face. He didn't know how long he cried until he did something Dean Winchester had never done before. He kneeled before his bed, bowed his head, folded his hands and prayed that God would keep his brother safe. He prayed that Sam could see that what he was doing was wrong, prayed that Sam could be saved before it was too late. Dean prayed that he wouldn't have to hunt his baby brother down and kill him because he'd gone too far. Dean was already scared Sam had gone too far down this path to ever be saved, but pushed those thoughts aside in the hope that he could fix this.

_I'll be praying for whatever it's worth  
Believing that one day you'll come back again  
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth  
Hoping for someday _

When Dean finished praying, although he wasn't really sure how to finish, he'd never done it before, he stood up and grabbed a towel from the bathroom. He washed his face, washed away the tears, hoping that along with them he could was away the fears and the sadness. He was alone, again. He hated being alone, hated when he had started solo hunts away from his father after Sam went away to school. Being alone was something he wasn't used to. As he felt the sudden presence of someone else in the room, Dean felt a little less sad. He knew that even with Sam gone for now, he wasn't alone. He had his very own, real life angel to keep him company. He turned away from the mirror in the bathroom and faced Castiel, who stood in the doorway.

"We have work for you, Dean." He said. Dean simply nodded and followed. If Sam could follow a demon so blindly and be so okay with it, maybe it was time Dean followed the angels blindly. Maybe that would make everything okay for him. Dean worked with the angel, did whatever mission was asked of him and didn't ask questions. Dean knew the angel could sense something was wrong, but was thankful that he didnt push and didnt ask questions. As Dean expected, Sam never called. Even thopugh he check his phone everynight before he went to sleep, Dean never expected to find any messages.  
_  
Waiting for someday believing in someday  
Praying for someday,  
I'll be longing for someday, clinging to someday  
Cherishing someday  
I'll be thinking of someday, dreaming of someday  
Wishing for someday  
I'll be living for someday, counting on someday  
Knowing that one day.... _

It had been months since Sam had left. Dean thought less and less about him each day as he dove into his work. Sometimes little things would bring up memories of the brother Sam no longer was. A song on the radio that reminded him of his brothers horrible taste in music, an item on a menu that Sam would always order or one that Dean would order just to piss him off. Every memory made him feel like Sam wasnt really out there with a demon, but rather that Sam was dead. It hurt less to think that Sam was dead, becuase that way he wouldnt hurt more when Sam never came back.

But to Dean's surprise, Sam did return. Six months to the day after Sam had walked out of that motel room in the god-forsaken small town they ahd been in, Sam appeared at the door to his motel room. Dean had opened the door, thinking to himself that Castiel had finally learned how to knock but came face to face his brother. Sam looked exactly like he had when he'd left, with tears running down his face, soaking the skin of his cheeks. Only now, he managed to look his brother in the eye.

_I will see you_

_

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**Hope you enjoyed, please R&R, thanks.**


End file.
